Jurassic Snatch

1967 Philippe Halsman gelatin print of Jurassic Snatch, Georgia O'Keeffe via Photo & Soul - image copyright the Estate of Philippe Halsman

-The names have been changed to protect the guilty.-  One night a very long time ago, I was spending an evening with some friends when this long necked beauty in need knocked on their door.  It was something to do with the automobile. The specific need evades me as my friend "Whitney" and I stood awe struck at the classic loveliness of this woman. "Whitney's" husband "Bobby" enthusiastically volunteered his assistance outside while "Whitney" and I grilled the Grace Kelly before our eyes. Naturally, we prodded attempting to find out where the Fountain of Youth was and why would she refuse us its geographic locale.

It was during this inquisition that we found out two very important pieces of information: the first, was that she had been collecting social security for at least ten years (I swear to God above that the woman did not look a day over 35) and the second, was that she believed that her Ponce de Leon was tap water.  There were also two very important developments resulting from the events that evening: the first was that I abandoned all bottled, filtered and mineral water that instant. The second was that apres we shut the door on the lovely Joanna (hell yes, I remember her name) the lovestruck Sir "Bobby," "inspired" by our chance encounter with the damsel in distress, coined the term "Jurassic Snatch."  It is by far my most favorite euphemism and I try to use it whenever some sexy senior saunters by.  I hope that someday, after drinking much, much tap water, I will have earned the title.

Happy Birthday Granny!

Wishing my sweet grandmother, Dorothy Rose Hutchinson, the most generous Jurassic Snatch I have had the pleasure of knowing, a very Happy 87th birthday. That beauty seated on the rock is she.